Superhero Problems
by Red Giraffes
Summary: Even superheros have their problems, and they are surprisingly mundane. No pairings.


Superboy had a problem. A very serious problem. One that was no laughing matter.

It wasn't that he was unsympathetic towards the cause of being 'green'. No, he understood the efforts, and did his part to protect the atmosphere.

He recycled, he didn't litter, he never used hairspray, and he always walked instead of driving when possible.

No, his problem wasn't with the movement itself, it was with the water bottles. The water bottles have become a very serious issue for him.

Every day that he attended school, he would go through the lines to get a mediocre meal. With that meal, came a bottled water container. This container had the thinnest plastic available. Not a single day has gone by were he hasn't accidentaly ripped the top off, or, in the case he angrily asked Megan to open it, squeezed the liquids right out of the container onto his lap.

It didn't end with water bottles. Oh no, the antiseptic mouthwash they bought for Mount Justice? The first day he used it, he spilt half of the container into the sink and onto the floor. He then proceeded to throw the container at the mirror, earning him an ill deserved session of washing the cealing. Yes, washing the cealing. Especially in the training room, it amazed Conner how dirty those places would get.

It seems like the solution would be easy, just get a different beverage at lunch. Well, half the time the milk they served was spoiled due to careless lunch ladies leaving delieveries outside, he didn't like the weird flavoring of sports drinks when he didn't have to drink them, and the juice containers were worse than the water containers. They served juice in a bag. A literal bag. Unknowingly, he got it one day. He tried his best to gently poke the straw into the bag, but ended up ripping the container instead. Another time he tried just biting of the end, but when he held it the bag burst.

Another thing he had a problem with? Pencils. Pens, he could semi handle. The casing was made of plastic, and he had some pens given to him by Batman that Superman used to prevent him from breaking them. Pencils, on the other hand, were made of wood. He avoided them as much as possible. Of course there were those mechanicle pencils, but some insane teachers forced him to use the wooden ones. After consitenly snapping pencil after pencil, he jsut decided to stop doing work in those classes. Like it was such a sacrifice anyways.

KFSBRMMALA

Kid Flash had a problem. A very serious problem.

He hated typing on computers. Especially in the presence of others. He typed to fast, no matter how hard he tried. His hands rushed to catch up with his brain, leaving the computer slow and confused from all the commands at once. The words would stop typing, and then slowly, or at least slowly to Wally, fill in the paragraph he was typing.

Another thing he hated? Opening doors during passing period at school. Wally had no patience, and was often zipping out of classrooms. Unfortunatly, he never seemed to remeber that there might be other people in the hallways. He has made many enemies as Wally West by slamming the door into unsuspecting people in the hallway. It's gotten so bad that the nurse glares at him, for all the injuries he caused.

It was never his fault though, not in his mind. Those morons were the one to blame, they were the ones who were walking up against a door! Though, the victims never saw it that way.

Most of all, he hated P.E. By nature, Kid Flash was a show off. He was rash, impatient, and loved a good competition. In P.E, he had to deny himself of all of these qualities. He wasn't allowed to compete for obvious resons, he had to be the last on in track, and had to be the first one out in dodgeball. He had to simply let the tennis balls run away, and stand still so the baseman could tag him out. Naturally, he was supposed to be the geek. Every day he pretended in P.E, he felt a piece of him die. Until he went home, that is, and was able to show someone that he wasn't physically challenged.

KFSBRMMALA

Miss Martian had a problem. One that she was very ashamed of.

She tried her best to learn the current culture of humans, and thought she was pretty well immersed in their culture. Until she went to school.

Megan could not understand chatspeak. Nor could she understand what a 'meme' was. She googled both, she read up on it, but she still failed to find any sense out of it. With all these weird letters next to each other, and cats wearing food or playing music, she was completely lost as to why humans would even think of these things, let alone find it funny.

Another issue Megan had? Cell phones. Okay, it wasn't that she misunderstood them. She understood their basic function, and knew had to use one. Everytime she tried, it gave her a terrible headache. Something to do with the waves given off the phone interfering with her telepathy. All Megan knew, given the choice, phones would be avoided at all costs.

Megan knew that, even given human's weird peculiarities, she was having a great time on earth.

KFSBRMMALA

Aqualad had a problem.

Everytime he went out, and walked by a seafood resturant, he felt like he was walking near a murder scene. The way humans butchered the species of the sea was very disturbing, even if they were just fish. They were not treated with any respect, the poor creatures. Most never even been out in the ocean, most never even had a chance to live.

Yet, humans would have a problem if a siren or two decided to eat some druken sailor. Hypocrites.

Anyways, another problem Aqualad had? He was not a leader. He knew he never really was a leader, not a true one. He could never make the right calls, always hoping to save everyone. A true leader would know when sacrifice was a necessity, Kaldur instead refused to see sacrifice as an option. He knew his King was disappointed with his lack of true leadership skills, but he hoped he could make up with some other quality.

KFSBRMMALA

Robin had no problems. None that he was willing to admit to, anyways.

Especially not in a writing excerisize designed by Batman. No, Robin always knew better than to leave any sort of paper trail, the Bat was a very suspicious creature that needed to be watched at all times. Even if this was meant to be only read by the Black Canary, Robin was sure he would be screening this letter for anything personal.

Instead, Robin will say what he does not have a problem with. Robin does not have a problem with disney movies. Disney movies were okay, in Robin's book. He was neither obsessed or repulsed, two terrifying and possibly therapy causing qualities. Nope, Robin was good on all accounts.

He especially liked the one with all the music. That one character, Chernabog or something? The big bat thing? Reminded him of his own bat, and everytime he sees it's figure at a store, he buys it for his adoptive father. Stashed deep into the chambers of the Dynamic Duo's house was a room full of merchandise from Fantasia; snowglobes, cups, shirts, and even watch. Robin never needed to ask, he knew it was one of Batman's favorite rooms. One that he would go to for found memories of his ward.

KFSBRMMALA

Artemis would never admit to a problem. She has none, none that she could express anyways.

Actually, that was a lie. The only problem Artemis has is doing stupid therapy assignments such as this to express problems she doesn't have. Artemis was fine in her life, and needed no assistance.

KFSBRMMALA

Batman read throught he entires stoically, recognizing who took this seriosuly and who brushed it off. Auperboy was obviously expressing his issues with his father, his longing to be taught eveident through his writing.

Kid Flash, on the otherhand, was denying any seriosu problem exists. He came close with P.E, but Batman knew the boy well enough to see he was denying his true emotions by using other emotions as a coverup.

Miss Martian was having a hard time adjusting to humans, which was perfectly normal. He could tell there was some worry about being different, about being able to compeltely fit in. That was to be expected though.

Aqualad was displaying his own security issues, with himself and being misunderstood by his team and by others he encountered on the surface. He frwoned, realizing how homesick Aqualad must be.

Moving on, he knew not to expect much out of Robin's. The young boy was to wise for his own good. He would be keeping the letter, instead of passing it on the Black Canary. Even though Robin tried, it was still a bit too persosnal to be passed on. Besides, he would never be that sentimental. It wasn't a room, merely a corner. Much more dignafied than a whole room. He wasn't a sap, he was Batman!

Artemis' letter he was disspointed in, even on paper she couldn't express her own concerns about herself. She was going to be hard to deal with, especially when dealing with her origins.

Batman hoped that by assigning them to write in third person, it would allow some of them to express there feelings more openly, as if they were removed from the situation. Though, it failed to be successful. Batman sighed, standing up from the desk he was at. He was going to get them to express themselves the only way he knew how, by giving them an intense training session.

**( This story sort of took over, the therapy sesion was not intended, so sorry if the writing in the beginning does not match the writing at the end! Inspired by real life events and frustrations :) )**


End file.
